Talkin' 'bout a revolution

I’ve been in revolt against the church since I was a teenager.

At the time, I thought it was rebellion against my strict upbringing. It is only now in hindsight that I understand I was reacting to the dissidence that I felt - the difference between the kind, loving god I knew in my heart and my church’s jealous, angry warrior god who was harshly judgmental. Not only was this warrior god a white male, he allowed only white men to be leaders and he allowed only male-centered language.

Not only was I ignored and marginalized, I was the also the cause of original sin. And I knew even as a girl that I couldn’t tolerate the unfairness of it. So I kept the rage inside of me. But when I was old enough to leave, I did. I left for 20 years.

I started attending church again in the 90’s. The first person I heard preach was a woman. Not only a woman but a lesbian with a rainbow stole. And I thought… “My, how things have changed.” I also sobbed all the way through the sermon. The years of revolting melted away and I realized I had come home, to a god who loved me no matter what.

As I kept going back to church, I realized more things had changed than who was in the pulpit. Words were used to describe god that I had never head before. Words like she. Mother-god. Creator-god. When I first heard this language, I thought I was wrong. Everyone knows god is male. But as I began to feel included, I began to accept the language, then cherish it. Now it seems wrong to me to hear god described as only male.

The past 3 or 4 years, I have not been mindlessly revolting but birthing a revolution within myself in learning new ways of knowing god. The most important part of this journey for me is that I haven’t had to do it alone. I’ve done this in the company of extraordinary women – some of whom are here today. They have coached me and learned with me and cried with me. Their support means everything to me.

And the new ways of knowing god I’ve found? I’ve learned about the Wisdom Goddess, Sophia, who Proverbs says was present with god at creation… I’ve learned images in Taoism that know god simply as The Way… the wildness of the creator god that I learned about at our retreat… our Lady of Chains, the Black Madonna… the essence of the spirit of god named by the Hebrew people as Ruach or like the wind… and the god who exceeds the bounds of our knowledge and imagination, known simply as I Am…

There are those of you out there who may not see yourself in the god portrayed by the dominant culture. It may be because of your skin color or because you’re a woman. It may be because you’re disabled or gay. It may be because you’re a person of peace.

I invite you to birth a revolution with me. It will be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. But revolution is hard work. And when you’re floundering and feel like you’re falling with nothing to hold onto, remember to go back to the god within your heart. The god within you will show you the way.

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By Sammie Lambert, our own revolution momma